Title: Full-On Antique Geek Battle Rap Stanzas
Author: LeeDavis
Category: VIDEO
Published: 2015-08-18 02:12:56
Clicks: 446

I mean, it's not like "Geek Battle Rap" is an unknown misnomer (lol!). My Friends Rhett & Link put in work on that front;

As funny as the video is, I've actually found an example of an online chat battle by two persons known only as and from 2009 (!). You can still find it online, but thanks to content curation, here it is;

we ain't here to do e-c-e
we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
listen to me spit these rhymes
while i program lines and commit web accessibility crimes
word, son

You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands.
Cut the crap rap,
Or I'll run ettercap,
Grab your AIM chat,
N' send a PC bitch-slap!

you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
while i got other plans
you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right
you just create a plight with your http rewrites
i've been on the web since the age of three
you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
respect yo' elders, bitch

You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up,
Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow!
You're knocking at the door while I run this show!
Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school,
Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
Face it. I rule.

i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
all you can do is troll on the fagnets
and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup
it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge
you say i'm still in school
but the fact is that i know the rule
cuz you need to go back to grade three
and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e

Time to bend over and apply a patch,
Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
Your connection got nuked and you've met your match.
You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
I'd pass the torch to a real winner
But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner
Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows,
Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.

Good god, I can't even respond to that. :P
You win haha *

takes a bow

The first time I saw it, I positively screamed my ass off laughing. I couldn't imagine what the musical backing to this could be. I ran just about every ol'-school track I could think of past the Mental Jukebox, but I couldn't match a beat to this. I'm gonna be runnin' this by my brethren Shadz and YS to see what they thinks (lol!).